she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Randomize
