Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
