What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
