went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
