running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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