i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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