Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
