what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im part way to drunk.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize