fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
