i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
