So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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