Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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