that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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