Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
