i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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