Me. At least after what I've been through.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Text me some of your sweat
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize