I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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