at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
