He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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