just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
