I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
