.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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