if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
