no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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