sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
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