I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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