I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
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Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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