i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
