I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
