Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
