Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
