ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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