Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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