1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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