Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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