you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
