the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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