Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
