And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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