This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
