there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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