Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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