Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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