I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
