Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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