i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
