I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
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