This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
