omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize