Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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