His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
