I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
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there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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