so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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