wanna go halves on a baby?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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