Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize