Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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