Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
